kelly machine gun has bravely detailed a dark moment in his life in his new documentary, Life in Pink.
In the Hulu film, the singer-actor, whose real name is Colson Baker, said he was so distraught over his father’s death in 2020 that he considered taking his own life.
“I wouldn’t leave my room and it started to get really, really, really dark,” Kelly recalled in the doco, adding that he also experienced feelings of “wild paranoia” and was convinced “someone was going to come and kill me.” Check out the trailer above.
It was so distressing for the 32-year-old that he slept with a shotgun next to his bed, which was a bad idea because one day it “just blew up” during a call to his now-fiancée, the actress. Megan foxwho at the time was shooting a movie in Bulgaria.
“I was like, ‘You’re not here for me.’ I’m in my room and I’m freaking out on her,” Kelly recalled. “Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I’m yelling into the phone and, like, the barrel is in my mouth. And I’m going to cock the shotgun and the bullet, when it comes back up, the shell just went in.” stuck. Megan is like dead silent.”
After the terrifying incident, Kelly realized “something wasn’t right” and it was Fox and his 12-year-old daughter, Casie, who pushed him to seek professional help.
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“[They said]’I want to see you as my father,’ and ‘I want to see you as my future husband,’ and I was like, ‘I really need to get off drugs this time,'” Kelly shared.
That same year, the musician entered rehab for substance abuse and mental health issues, telling Interview magazine at the time he was “taking steps” in his recovery.
“Currently, my drug of choice is happiness and commitment to art, rather than commitment to a vice that I thought made art,” he told the magazine in November 2020.
“I had my first therapy session last Thursday. That’s the first time I said, ‘Hey, I need to separate these two people,’ which is Machine Gun Kelly and Colson Baker. The dichotomy is too intense for me.”
If you or someone you know needs immediate assistance, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
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