“He demanded that I change my dress”: the musician’s altercation with the mother of the bride

It can be tricky being asked to work on a friend’s wedding, but one woman liked being asked to play the harp for her. upcoming nuptials.

“Normally I would ask for payment up front, but since I was a family friend they asked if they could pay me only at the front desk and I said yes,” the 18-year-old tells Reddit. Thread ‘Am I the Hole?’.

The church was an hour’s drive from her house and she showed the bride the navy blue dress which he planned to use at the event when they met to go over the music he wanted and again at rehearsal.

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harp player
“They asked me if they could pay me at the reception and I said yes.” (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

She describes the dress as “just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it’s surprisingly pretty.”

“I arrived at the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimatize to the room,” he explains. “When I got there, the mother of the bride came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded that I change her dress.”

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wedding corsages
‘When I got there, the mother of the bride came to give me my corsage.’ (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

She says her initial reaction was to laugh, thinking it was a joke, but she quickly realized the bride’s mother wasn’t kidding.

“I asked him what was wrong and he told me that the bride was wearing a non-traditional dress that was also navy blue,” explains the harpist. “I panicked a bit, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her boyfriend had approved it twice.

“I told the mother and she asked if I had any other colors she could change me into,” she continues. “I don’t bring extra dresses unless my dress is somehow not pre-approved, so I didn’t. Then she told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost what they paid me for this wedding, and I told her I couldn’t afford it. I felt bad, but she reluctantly walked away.”

Harpist dressed in the same color as the bride Reddit
He has taken to Reddit to explain the situation and ask for advice. (reddit)

The wedding took place without any other incident. He made sure to talk to the girlfriend before he left, to discuss the situation and make sure everything was okay.

“I explained what the mother-in-law said, and she told me that it was fine and that they weren’t thinking when they approved my dress,” the harpist writes.

It was at the reception where things got worse.

“At the reception, when I talked to the mother-in-law about the payment, she refused to pay me,” explains the woman. “I didn’t want to make a scene, but the girlfriend came over and heard us talking.

“This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me.”

Navy Blue Bridesmaids Dress
He made sure to talk to the bride after the ceremony, however things took a turn for the worse later on. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

She says she didn’t know what to do and didn’t have anyone at the wedding to back her up.

“A lot of people assume that harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I’ve been renting a harp since fourth grade, and when my teacher passed away, we bought it for an unbelievable price,” he writes. “I also charge much less than most musicians would, but I have to pay for college in a few days and I can’t afford it.

“I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when the dress was approved, and he made me the payment. I still feel really bad, but I don’t think there was anything.” what I could have done.”

She asks Reddit followers if she should have “just sucked it up and bought a new dress” and the overwhelming consensus is definitely not.

“Honestly, if brides choose a non-traditional color other than white/ivory, chances are someone will wear the color of their dress,” one person writes. “That’s no one else’s problem apart from the bride if it hasn’t been explicitly discussed with the guests.”

A woman who chose to wear a non-traditional wedding dress in the same color as two of her guests can’t see why it was such a big deal.

“Yeah. I dressed in purple and at least two of my guests did too. But I don’t give a shit: I was the one up front exchanging the vows, so it was pretty obvious who the bride was,” they say.

A Reddit user suggests that they never planned to pay her and used the dress color issue as an excuse.

“It seems that they did not actually plan to pay him,” they explain. “Most people don’t pay the day of. With everything you have to manage on the day of a big event, you’re booking live music, you have a million other things to worry about and you don’t want to go around paying people “. .”

“The lesson here is to get paid up front. No money, no music,” adds a Reddit follower.

“And stop undercharging,” adds another.

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